


I Need You Here To Stay

by starryscout



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, M/M, Schizophrenia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:27:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27935425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryscout/pseuds/starryscout
Summary: A relationship unexpectedly blossoms between a mute patient and a frequent hospital visitor who can't read.With Google Translate, convenience store ramen, and storybooks, the two grow, learn, and love together.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 15
Kudos: 53





	I Need You Here To Stay

**Author's Note:**

> \- I actually got in contact with a relative who knew someone who had and passed away from schizophrenia, so I based the disorder in the story off of the person's experience with it. I was given full permission to do so, by the way.  
> \- Credits to my friend who spent almost two hours thinking of a title with me  
> \- Sorry if there are any grammar or spelling errors

Beomgyu was born mute. And he hated it. 

He couldn't speak when he needed to be heard. He was bullied and he could do nothing but take the harsh hits and the piercing words without so much of a peep. So when Beomgyu had been admitted to a hospital by his mother, he was happy, to say the least. The words that floated around in his mind weren't voices of anxiety or fear, it was _'They won't be able to hurt me anymore'_ on loop. But after finding out the reason on why he was admitted to the hospital at seventeen, he was anything but happy. 

Schizophrenia. A disorder with no known cure or treatment. Beomgyu had it. He had schizophrenia. And that was when he decided he wanted to die. 

Beomgyu had never hated life as much as he did now. It was completely unfair. Being mute? And having schizophrenia to go along with it? He hated it. He hated this. He hated life and everything that came along with it. His mother hasn't even visited him once after admitting him into the darned hospital even if she knew how much he hated them, leaving him alone with no one to lean on. He hated this. He wanted out of the hospital. 

* * *

Beomgyu hated the place itself but he loved the restaurants and cafès they had. They all somehow served the best snacks; perfect and to his liking. But Beomgyu especially loved one specific cafe: Cafè MOA. The outside of the small cafè radiated a certain comfort and warmth, and when you stepped inside, you'd be greeted by the pleasant smell of cooked pastries and freshly brewed coffee, welcoming smiles from the staff, and some slow, relaxing music being played on the speakers. Beomgyu loved it there. It was his escape, a safe place for him – it was like his very own home. Beomgyu didn't mind that the cafè was constantly filled with people. They didn't exactly produce much noise, anyway. He didn't care that he had to sometimes wait more than ten minutes in line to finally order. He didn't care at all. He loved the place anyway. They all seemed to help and cooperate one way or another. And that's what made him love the place even more. He was usually apathetic with such stuff like this, but it was his home. 

Beomgyu stepped inside the cozy cafè, inhaling the scent he had picked up on. It seems they were serving cookies today. He took a look around and saw that the cafè was bustling with people again. He took place behind a brown haired woman in line and patiently waited for the line to move forward. As he waited, he scanned the area for any possible empty seats. 

Finally moving to the front of the line, he faked a small smile at the cashier and took out a piece of paper with his order scribbled on it. 

_'1 black coffee and 1 large cookie pls. Dine in.'_

The cashier quickly read the words over before handing it back to him and typed away on the computer. 

"Alright, your order will be up soon. Take a seat if you will." 

Beomgyu spotted an open table for two and moved towards it. He quickly plopped himself down on the white chair, fishing his phone out of his pocket so as to distract himself while waiting. 

Beomgyu didn't really have that much apps on his phone. He didn't like being focused on one thing for too long and his games were too addicting, so he deleted them. 

Just as he put his phone away, he saw a figure suddenly rush over to the opposite side of the table and sit down. Beomgyu stared at the man. He had to admit, the man was attractive. Handsome, he'd dare say. But just why was he seated at this table? 

Beomgyu picked up his pen and paper and quickly wrote something down, the man in front of him simply staring in curiosity. Beomgyu slammed the paper down in front of him, wordlessly telling him to read it. 

The words _'why did u sit here ? pls switch tables im uncomfortable sitting with a stranger'_ were scribbled in bold, black ink. 

The man simply held a look of confusion in his eyes, staring at the writing inquisitively, as if they were trying to solve an extremely hard riddle. Eventually, the blonde just looked into Beomgyu's eyes and smiled. He smiled. Beomgyu stared in confusion as the man in front of him hadn't seemed to comprehend his note and simply went back to fiddling with his hands and looking up at the cashier once in a while to see if his order was ready. Beomgyu huffed and proceeded to write another note. 

_'did u not read my note ?? pls find another table'_

The man, once again, stared in confusion before going back to whatever it was he was busy with. It seemed he couldn't take the hint. Beomgyu rolled his eyes and dragged a hand over his face. 

_That man, oh my god,_ Beomgyu thought groaning in frustration internally. The man didn't even seem aware of the situation.

After a while, and after Beomgyu had finished his cookie, the atmosphere between the two quickly grew awkward. The tension between them was thick before "blondie", as Beomgyu had dubbed him in his head a minute ago, finally spoke up. 

He cleared his throat and stretched out a hand. "I'm Taehyun. Kang Taehyun." 

Beomgyu stared at Taehyun's hand, debating himself on whether or not he should shake a random stranger's hand without knowing where they've been. It seems Beomgyu had been staring for far too long, as Taehyun started to slowly retract his hand, embarrassment evident on his face. 

Beomgyu didn't know why, but he hastily stood up and went to grab Taehyun's hand and shake it firmly. Beomgyu sat down immediately after. 

Beomgyu wrote his name on the paper, sliding it over for Taehyun to read. Taehyun picked it up and Beomgyu saw how his eyes glazed over the words lots and lots of times, his eyes holding such concentration in them. 

Beomgyu stared at him in confusion. Was it really that hard to read his name? A minute passed before Taehyun dropped the paper on the table and buried his head in his hands. He mumbled something too muffled to hear so Beomgyu tapped his shoulder twice, catching his attention. 

Beomgyu raised his eyebrows, motioning with his hands for Taehyun to repeat what he had said. Taehyun took a deep breath, the embarrassment flooding back into his features. 

"I can't read," he uttered finally. 

Beomgyu widened his eyes. _Oh. So that's why._

Taehyun avoided looking into Beomgyu's eyes which stared intently into his own. "I'm sorry," Taehyun apologized. 

Beomgyu widened his eyes even more at that, frantically waving his arms about, trying to tell Taehyun through his actions that he had nothing to be sorry about. 

"...How do I communicate with you then?" Taehyun asked. 

Beomgyu pondered over this for a moment. He hadn't thought about that. Beomgyu looked around the cafè before his eyes landed on his phone. He grabbed it and typed quickly. 

A few seconds ticked by before the two heard an automated voice say, _"Google translator"._

Taehyun looked up at Beomgyu in excitement. Beomgyu simply smiled. But it was unlike any of his other usual smiles he wore when walking around the hospital or greeting people out of respect. Those were all fake. Empty. Devoid of emotion. But with Taehyun, Beomgyu had the urge to smile a real smile. Alive. Full and complete with emotions. And that's exactly what he did. He allowed himself to smile – wide and bright. 

The two spent hours talking to each other. About anything and everything. 

"Tell me something about yourself," suggested Taehyun. Beomgyu's thumbs hovered over the keyboard as he thought of some fact about himself. After a while, he went to type something. Beomgyu wasn't usually expressive or open about anything concerning himself, but he felt he could open up around Taehyun. 

_"I like being read stories to 'till I fall asleep," came the robotic voice from Beomgyu's phone._

"Aw, that's cute!" Taehyun cooed at Beomgyu, causing Beomgyu to glare holes into his head and almost slap him. 

"Woah, it's just a joke!" Taehyun laughed. Beomgyu shifted in his seat, rolling his eyes. 

Beomgyu may have seemed angry, but Taehyun swears he had seen the tiniest hint of a smile when he looked away. 

"Are you a patient?" Taehyun grabbed Beomgyu's coffee cup and took a sip, grimacing at the taste. Beomgyu glared half - heartedly and wiped the spot where Taehyun had drunk with a tissue. 

Beomgyu fiddled with his phone. _"Yes."_

Taehyun nodded. "What's your room number? Maybe I can visit you sometime." 

Beomgyu shook his head. _"Please don't."_

Taehyun gasped exaggeratedly and mocked an offended look. "Do you not enjoy my wonderful presence?!" 

Beomgyu stared while Taehyun kept up the offended act, proceeding to tell Beomgyu about his 'cool personality' and how 'you love me, don't deny it'. Beomgyu stayed silent through it all, as if he could say anything, occasionally smirking and laughing through his nose. 

"Anyway, I'll visit you soon, yeah?" 

Beomgyu looked up at that. He shook his head. 

Now it was Taehyun's turn to roll his eyes. "I'm going whether you like it or not," he smirked. "I have a feeling we both need some company in our lives."

* * *

Beomgyu pushed open the metal door leading into his assigned hospital room – Room 47. It had been five days since his encounter with Kang Taehyun. 

"Mr. Choi, please refrain from pushing on heavy objects," the nurse fussed over him, fast walking to his side. Where'd she even come from? 

Beomgyu hid the frown on his face and quickly replaced it with an empty smile and a shake of his head, understandably saying he could do it on his own. But the nurse wasn't having any of it, apparently. She sighed. "Come on. Let's get you inside, Mr. Choi." 

Beomgyu allowed himself to be escorted and assisted onto his bed. What else could he do. It's not like he could snap at her in irritation as he has wished so many times to do. 

"Would you like to watch some television?" The nurse tucked him into cotton sheets. Beomgyu nodded and pointed over to his notepad. She pulled it out from the wheelchair's pocket and handed it over to him. She watched as he wrote some words down. 

Beomgyu handed the notepad over to the nurse. 

**five feet apart**

The nurse smiled fondly. "That again?" 

Beomgyu simply nodded. He would never admit it to anyone but he was an absolute sap for sad romance movies. Especially when it takes place at a hospital. It makes him feel like he could find hope in at least one person in a place like this. 

"Okay." The nurse switched on the TV, navigating through websites until it landed on Netflix. "Have fun, Mr. Choi." 

Beomgyu leaned back comfortably on his bed, eyes focused on the movie playing out before him. 

Will. Beomgyu liked to think he was like Will. In danger of dying, but still reckless and fighting for their lives. And still, after all this time, Beomgyu had yet to find a Stella of his own. He didn't necessarily mean Stella's character; he meant someone that would complete him. To make him feel whole again. Someone who could make him simply feel. 

Beomgyu continued watching the movie, and halfway through, there was a knock on the door. Beomgyu turned his head towards it, and waited for them to come in. He thought it would be the nurse coming to check up on him, but the person who stood at the doorway was completely unexpected. Well, kind of. 

"Hey, Beomgyu." 

Beomgyu gave a small smile. _Kang Taehyun._

Taehyun walked in and closed the door behind him, a bag of groceries in his hand. 

"I brought you something." Taehyun plopped the plastic bag down on the empty chair beside the hospital bed. Beomgyu smiled a bit wider in return. _Thanks._

"Your room seems a bit lonely," Taehyun noted. Immediately, Beomgyu's smile fell. He didn't need to be reminded. He was lonely enough as it is. Quickly realizing his change of demeanor, Taehyun hastily tried to change the subject. 

"W-what movie is this? Is it good?" 

Beomgyu looked up at Taehyun and Taehyun could see how his eyes lit up with interest. He nodded his head. Yeah. _It's good._

Taehyun nodded in understanding, shifting his focus to the movie and moving the grocery bag to the floor so he could sit on the chair. They both watched the movie in comfortable silence. 

An hour later and the two were sniffling quietly; tears threatening to fall out of their eyes. Taehyun quickly wiped a few stray tears away and took a deep breath before looking at Beomgyu and letting out a fake chuckle. 

"Well- this is sad." 

Beomgyu laughed and nodded in agreement. The movie _was_ sad. The ending was open and ambiguous. But that was what made it a good movie. And Beomgyu loved it. 

Beomgyu tapped Taehyun's shoulder lightly and began motioning with his hands, trying to tell Taehyun something. Taehyun stared in confusion but tried nonetheless to decipher it. 

"You...? Want me? To? You want me to...? Eat? You? Eat you? Wait, no- eat with you!" 

Beomgyu smiled. _Finally._

"You want me to eat with you!" Taehyun exclaimed. "Yeah, okay! I have some- ramen! And chocolates! And some biscuits and-" 

Beomgyu gently laid a hand on Taehyun's arm currently rummaging through the bag he had brought with him. _Calm down._

Taehyun chuckled. "Right, right. Sorry." 

Beomgyu grabbed two cups of instant ramen and handed them over to Taehyun, silently asking him to get them ready. Taehyun nodded, and left the room with the two cups in each hand. Beomgyu kept his eyes trained on Taehyun until he was no longer in sight. 

The door shut closed and the room was once again silent like it had been before Taehyun suddenly made a surprise visit. Not that Beomgyu was complaining, of course. He enjoyed Taehyun's company. He would never admit it to anyone, though. Not even to himself. He can't afford to get too attached. Not now. 

Beomgyu shut his eyes and took a deep breath. 

Beomgyu allowed himself to drift off to sleep, and within a few minutes, he was snoring soundly. 

"Beomgyu, I have the-" Taehyun burst into the room only to stop in his tracks upon seeing the patient asleep in his bed. He had never seen Beomgyu look that peaceful before. 

Taehyun smiled fondly and placed the heated ramen cups on the bedside desk. "Sweet dreams, Beomgyu." 

He tucked Beomgyu further in before grabbing his ramen cup and switching on the television to wait until Beomgyu woke up. 

* * *

Beomgyu opened his eyes and blinked wearily, trying to adjust his eyes to the bright light shining onto his face. He could hear the TV blaring some song which he quickly drowned out. He looked to his right and was mildly surprised to find Kang Taehyun sitting on the chair, seeming to not have left after he fell asleep. Beomgyu half - expected Taehyun to leave when he had fallen asleep but yet here he was, two finished cups of ramen bye his side, and his eyes trained on a colorful music video playing. 

Beomgyu slowly reached out a hand and tapped Taehyun lightly on the shoulder. 

The blonde man jumped slightly in his seat before turning to Beomgyu and letting out a relieved sigh. "Oh, you're awake. What do you need?" 

Beomgyu stared before shaking his head and looking at the television instead. 

"You didn't think I'd leave you here, did you?" Beomgyu could hear the teasing tone in his voice. He rolled his eyes. 

"Ah, well too bad, you're not getting rid of me that easily," Taehyun smirked. "Also, stop rolling your eyes like that. Isn't that the millionth time you've done it today?" 

Beomgyu almost rolled his eyes again before he stopped himself. Taehyun chuckled at that. 

"You were about to roll your eyes weren't you," Taehyun taunted, getting a little too close to Beomgyu as he poked his shoulder repeatedly. 

Beomgyu pushed Taehyun's face away lightly as the blonde laughed heartily. 

Beomgyu stopped and pointed at his phone resting on his desk. Taehyun handed him the phone. 

It wasn't long before they both heard the robotic voice talk once again. _"Shut up, Taehyun."_

They stared at each other for a few seconds before Taehyun burst out into such loud laughter they were sure the people the next room over heard them which caused Beomgyu to laugh lightly, joining in. Although it was a frail looking laugh and no sound came out, it was obvious how happy Beomgyu was. Beomgyu even surprised himself; he wasn't usually this expressive with emotions. In fact, he hadn't exactly been feeling much emotions lately. But Taehyun seemed to bring out all his emotions, sending them flowing out of him like a waterfall, and Beomgyu was supposed to hate it. He was supposed to hate the feeling – but he didn't.

* * *

The television once again glared with different shades of colors and pixels. Taehyun had come to visit, this time coming in empty. 

_"I'm just here to keep you company."_

Beomgyu didn't need company. He needed treatment. He needed out of the hospital. He needed to live a normal life. 

Taehyun had probably sensed his presence was unwelcome on that day, seeing as he continuously shifted uncomfortably on the cushioned chair by the hospital bed, yet he stayed. Beomgyu thought he was dumb for doing so. Who in their right mind would take time out of their schedule to spend time with a lonely, schizophrenic teenager. No one. Except for Taehyun, apparently. 

Beomgyu had to take deep breaths to calm his heart. He didn't want to act agressive right now, especially in front of Taehyun. He hated when he was in a bad mood. 

The two stayed in awkward silence. Taehyun tried to focus on the show playing but he seemed too distracted by very obviously sneaking glances at Beomgyu. 

_He must think I hate him,_ Beomgyu thought. It did seem so. Taehyun's eyes were apologetic. _Idiot. Why would you be apologetic when you know you did nothing wrong._

They continued to awkwardly watch the show without really paying attention to what it was all about. Eventually, Beomgyu got tired of the uncomfortable silence. He didn't like it. He snatched his phone from the desk and typed away. 

_"I'm not mad at you, if that's what you're thinking."_

Beomgyu could see Taehyun's shoulders visibly relax, letting go of all the tension from his body. "Sorry... if I was making this awkward." 

Beomgyu felt anger bubble up in him. _Why? Why would he be sorry?_ He almost snapped at Taehyun before realizing he couldn't talk and that Taehyun was the last person he'd want to lash out on. He took deep, shaky breaths to steady himself. 

_"Don't apologize."_

Taehyun simply nodded but Beomgyu could see he still looked slightly apologetic. 

_"Seriously, don't apologize. I'm just in a bad mood today. Sorry."_

Taehyun brightened a bit at that. "Okay, Beomgyu. Okay."

* * *

"Beomgyu!" 

_Taehyun._

"I wanna go to the beach!" 

_"So go."_

"I meant with you." 

_"Why?"_

"You told me you've never seen the sun set before, and the beach is the perfect place to witness it."

* * *

Taehyun and Beomgyu strolled along the shore. It was nearing sunset. 

"Beomgyu, I know the perfect place to see it, let's go!" 

Taehyun grabbed Beomgyu's hand and they quickly walked to the 'perfect place' Taehyun was referring to. They ran for a while before Taehyun halted. He took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the salty sea and listened to the sounds of the waves crashing against sand and rocks. Beomgyu thought he was in a movie for a second. It felt like a movie. 

"Beomgyu, it's starting!" 

Beomgyu quickly diverted his eyes towards the sun beginning its descent. He honestly hadn't expected much. It looked like a painting. But for Beomgyu's standards, it was average. 

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Taehyun smiled widely, the orange and pink hues reflecting onto his face. He looked absolutely ethereal. Beomgyu looked away. _Yeah. Beautiful indeed._

They stood and stared at the sunset, basking in a comforting silence. Only after the sun had completely gone down and the moon had started to become more visible did they both look at one another. 

They stared into each other's eyes; Taehyun's holding a sort of fondness in them, as Beomgyu's held a challenging but soft one. Taehyun was the first to break off their little staring contest. He cleared his throat and put his hands in his pockets. 

"Let's get you back to your room, Beomgyu." 

But Beomgyu didn't move. When Taehyun looked back at him questioningly, he shook his head as an answer. He didn't want to leave. He didn't – he never – wanted to go back to that damn place. He hated it. Everything. Everyone. They all looked at him with either pity or fear. He hated that they perceived as him as weak, or crazy, or both. He was neither of those. He was Choi Beomgyu. He was strong. He was not crazy. He was not- 

"Beomgyu." 

Beomgyu looked up, seeing a frown on Taehyun's face. Don't look that way 'cus of me. 

"Why are you crying?" 

Beomgyu halted all his movements in shock. He brought a hand up to his face, and sure enough, there were a few tears running down. He shook his head and furiously wiped his tears away. He didn't want to look weak in front of Taehyun. He didn't want Taehyun's pity. 

Beomgyu ran a hand through his brown locks before letting his hand drop to his side. He stared at the ground, unmoving and unwilling to move. He heard the crunching of sand beneath feet grow louder and louder before it came to a stop. Beomgyu flinched when he suddenly felt a pair of hands wrap around his shoulders, feet moving into his view. 

And suddenly, Beomgyu could feel nothing but warmth. He could smell nothing but the light scent of coffee and milk chocolate. Taehyun was hugging him. 

Kang Taehyun. Hugging him... 

Huh. Beomgyu experimentally tried to wrap his arms around Taehyun's waist. It felt... nice. To be hugged. Beomgyu held Taehyun tightly and buried his face into his shoulder. 

He didn't know what feeling he had been experiencing in that moment, but Beomgyu knew he'd want to feel it again and again and again. Until the day he died. He wanted to die with that feeling lingering in his chest as he took his final breath. 

"Everything will be fine, Beomgyu."  
_No, it won't._ "You'll be okay."  
_No, I won't._ "You're okay."  
_Only because of you. You make me feel complete._

And that was when Beomgyu thought, _"Ah. So this is what it's like to have a Stella to your Will. Taehyun's my Stella."_

And they stayed like that. Hugging each other as the moon and stars shone down upon them. 

* * *

_"Taehyun. Hold me. Please."_

Taehyun looked at Beomgyu in shock but complied to his request anyway. He motioned for Beomgyu to scoot over on his hospital bed to give him enough space to cuddle him. 

Taehyun laid on his side, resting his head on Beomgyu's chest, hugging him. He could almost fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. 

"Why the sudden request?" 

Taehyun could feel Beomgyu's arm shift and pulse as he typed. 

_"I want to feel what I felt that day."_

Taehyun stared up at him. "What day?" 

Beomgyu's face flushed a light shade of pink. 

_"The day you first hugged me."_

Taehyun could say nothing. No words seemed like the right thing to say in that moment so he simply continued holding Beomgyu tightly in his arms. They both drifted off to sleep, the only sounds in the room being their synched breathing and the birds' muffled chirping from outside. 

Beomgyu couldn't ask for anything more. He wanted to stay forever.

* * *

As more weeks passed, Beomgyu found it getting harder and harder to breathe properly. He could inhale, exhale, and the likes just fine. But it pained him on certain occasions. It scared him. The only thing keeping him from going fully insane were the warm touches and smiles from Kang Taehyun. 

As days went by, Beomgyu's 'psychotic episodes', as the doctors claimed were what they are, have been occuring more and more freequently. Before, these episodes would take place at least once every month and they'd slowly come to an end after two hours or so. But now, these episodes have been happening every day. It only happens for short periods of time but it still worried Beomgyu. It was getting harder and harder to hide his sickness and symptoms from Taehyun. He was lucky Taehyun wasn't much of a pryer. He stayed in his own business when needed. But he was bound to find out sooner or later. Like now. 

"Beomgyu?" 

Beomgyu looked up from his phone to raise his eyebrows in question at Taehyun. 

"I... don't want to pry but..." 

Beomgyu's eyes widened slightly for a fraction of a second. 

_He was going to ask. He was curious. Everyone is, though. Should I tell him? What if he looks down on me for it? What if he pities me? Or hates me? Or leaves me completely? No. No, I don't want to lose him. But I don't want to lie to him either._

Beomgyu was filled to the brim with anxiety. Was he supposed to tell? Or not? He knows Taehyun won't care either way, but Beomgyu had found out that he didn't like lying to Taehyun. No matter what. 

"... What are you in the hospital for?" 

And there it was. Beomgyu inhaled deeply. He had been dreading this question. His hands shakily typed on the cellphone's keyboard. A few seconds later and the automated voice from Google Translate resounded within the quiet room. 

_"Schizophrenia."_

Beomgyu looked anywhere else in the room, trying to avoid the feeling of Taehyun's gaze on him. 

_Was Taehyun mad? No, he probably isn't. Taehyun never gets mad. At me. But what if he does? What do I do then? Will he leave me? He thinks I'm a freak, doesn't he._

Beomgyu didn't really expect for Taehyun to answer. Probably just leave the room or something. But Beomgyu certainly did not expect for the words "Oh... that's it?" 

Beomgyu looked up at the blonde in surprise. That's it? That's it? 

Taehyun widened his eyes and waved his hands about, apologizing profusely. 

"I- I'm sorry, that- that sounded kind of rude... Sorry!" 

Taehyun repeatedly bowed his head in a forgiving manner. Beomgyu shook his head. 

_"It's okay."_

Taehyun looked up at Beomgyu, looking shy and like a kicked puppy. It made Beomgyu's heart clench. "Really?" 

_"Yeah. It's at least a better reaction than when my mom found out."_

His mom... didn't exactly take the diagnosis well. 

_"No. I will not be living with another psycho under my roof. Take him."_

_"I'll pay however much it costs. Just keep him in this hospital and never return him."_

_"I thought you were going to be normal... but no. You had to be just like your crazy father."_

_"Don't get your hopes up. I won't be visiting you. For all I know, you might end up killing me."_

Beomgyu had been insulted, beated, and dropped off at the hospital with a sleeping bag full of items he might have needed. His mother hasn't come to visit him in all his three years in the hospital. He was left alone. 

Taehyun nodded at his response. He didn't ask any further, which relieved Beomgyu. He doesn't think he was ready for that conversation. 

"So, wanna watch Five Feet Apart again?" Taehyun smiled at him. 

Beomgyu smiled softly in return. He nodded his head.

* * *

Taehyun sat upright in his bed. He slowly inhaled and exhaled, already feeling a panic attack coming on. A nightmare. He rarely got nightmares nowadays. But it seems they might come back more frequently. 

Beomgyu stood up and walked towards the water dispenser by the small kitchen sink. He grabbed a cup and filled it with water to quench his thirst and relax his parched throat. He glanced at the clock. 

4:07 a.m. was displayed in bright, red colors. 

_It's too early..._

Beomgyu began his walk back to the bed so he could go back to sleep when he felt a tingly sensation running down his right arm. He quickly slapped a hand over his wrist where the feeling stopped, as if trying to kill an insect. Beomgyu stared at his arm, trying to figure out why that feeling crept through him. But there was nothing. Simply skin. 

He furrowed his brows in confusion. He was probably just sleep deprived. He shook his head and got into bed. His eyes were closing and he was teetering on the brink of finally falling asleep when he felt it again. That sensation. The feeling of little insects crawling all over him. It wasn't just his arm this time, it was his chest and legs, as well. He suddenly couldn't breathe. 

_What's happening? Am I okay? Is this normal? Should I call the nurse? Will they be able to help me?_

Beomgyu tried to scratch away the itchiness and tingles he felt, but nothing changed. It didn't help. He only had one other choice. Though he didn't like asking for help, especially from nurses, he had to press the button by his bed to alert the nurses he needed medical attention. 

Less than a minute later and a woman barged into his room, taking big steps towards his bed. 

Beomgyu was still scratching up and down his arms, trying to rid himself of the disgusting feeling. He looked panicked. 

The nurse called for a doctor. Beomgyu tuned out her calling. He didn't want to hear right now. He didn't want to see either. He didn't want to feel. All Beomgyu could think about as the doctor finally entered the room and began the checkup was _"Why wasn't I born normal?"_

* * *

"Hey, Beomgyu." 

Beomgyu immediately looked up at the soft voice that greeted him. He smiled. _Taehyun._

"Heard something happened last night." 

Ah. That. 

Beomgyu just nodded slowly. 

"Do..." Taehyun hesitated. "Do you wanna talk? About it?" 

Beomgyu shrugged. Taehyun knew that meant a 'no'. Beomgyu wasn't expressive so it was a bit hard to read him at first, but Taehyun got used to it. Like he got used to a lot of things. 

"... Okay." 

Taehyun took a seat on the edge of the hospital bed, right at Beomgyu's feet. "You feeling better?" 

Again, Beomgyu only gave a shrug of his shoulders as response. Taehyun sighed. 

"Come on, Beomgyu, talk to me." 

Beomgyu gave him a look. 

"Beom- you know what I mean!" He spluttered. "Are you in a bad mood again?" 

No one moved for a second before Beomgyu slowly started nodding hesitantly. 

"You're lying." Came Taehyun's instant answer. "I know you, Beomgyu. You're not just in a bad mood." 

Beomgyu looked down at his lap, refusing to look up into the blonde's eyes. 

"Hey. Beomgyu." 

This time, when Taehyun spoke, his voice was even more gentle, soothing; as if trying to hush a crying baby. 

"You'd tell me if you weren't feeling okay, right?" 

Beomgyu finally allowed himself to look up, staring into Taehyun's eyes. 

"Right?" The man in front of him repeated. 

Beomgyu nodded. 

_He would. He would. He would. He always would._

Taehyun nodded, leaving behind a plastic bag of groceries before opening the door. 

"Okay." The door closed shut behind him. 

_At least, that's what he told himself._

* * *

After that, Taehyun's visits were shortened and less frequent. He sometimes stayed longer so he could keep Beomgyu company as they ate some instant ramen from a random convenience store and watched a random show that was on. But other than that, Taehyun never stayed longer than an hour. Beomgyu was angry at that. And worried. And in all honesty – sad. 

Taehyun began visiting less as Beomgyu began suffering more. 

_This is, kind of, a good thing,_ Beomgyu would tell himself whenever Taehyun would leave earlier than expected. _This way, Taehyun won't see the symptoms. He won't feel bad for me. He won't pity me when he sees me suffering. This is good. I'm good. Everything is okay..._

_Right?_

Beomgyu closed his eyes and rolled over on his stomach, burying his face into the pillow beneath him. It smelled like Taehyun, after all the times they'd cuddled for warmth, for affection, for attention, for no reason at all, just wanting to be held. Taehyun always held him securely. And Beomgyu loved that. 

Beomgyu had almost completely drifted off into sleep before he felt it again. The feeling of tiny insects crawling all over your body. He sat up in bed. He hated it. He hated insects. He didn't like this feeling. He wanted it gone. He just wanted to scratch all his skin out so he wouldn't be able to feel the ickiness, the gross, tingly sensation. 

Unconsciously, he raised his arms and scratched. Hard and deep into his own skin. He crumpled in pain as his skin stung and turned red, a few droplets of blood trickling down his forearms to his wrists. He wanted to stop, but he also wanted to keep scratching. To keep scratching until he could no longer feel it. So he could no longer feel anything. His arms were raised again, his eyes closed, before a voice and face flashed through his mind. 

_"You'll be okay. You're okay. You'd tell me if you weren't feeling okay, right?"_

Beomgyu sighed. His arms slowly dropped to his sides. Taehyun wouldn't want this. He wouldn't want Beomgyu to harm himself like this. Beomgyu sniffled. Well, guess he had no other choice but to call the nurse. He pressed the red button by his bed and waited for the nurse to come busting in. 

Not even a minute later, there was already a nurse, immediately checking up on him. She gasped at the bright red scratch marks and blood on his arm. 

"Mr. Choi, what happened? Are you alright? Did you do this to yourself?" 

The nurse asked question after question after question, irritating Beomgyu. He didn't pay attention to any single one. He just wanted to rid himself of the feeling. They were nurses. There were medical experts. Surely they could help him. 

Beomgyu was so lost in thought, he hadn't noticed a doctor walk in with one more nurse by his side. He crouched down in front of Beomgyu, looking at him as if he was a child getting ready for their first vaccine. He wasn't a child. 

Drowning out any sort of chatter, labeling them as background noise, Beomgyu let his mind wander off to distract himself from the 'insect feeling', as he had named it on the spot. Immediately, he thought of that feeling. 

The feeling he got when Taehyun had hugged him. When Taehyun comforted him. When Taehyun looked at him with such fondness in his eyes it almost looked like he wanted to cry at the sight of Beomgyu. But that's silly. Who would cry over a silly, psychotic, schizophrenic, mute patient. He didn't deserve to have Taehyun cry over him. He didn't deserve anything at all. 

He didn't deserve Taehyun. But he needed him.

* * *

For the first time since their meeting, Beomgyu invited Taehyun over to come visit. Why? He simply replied "let's watch a movie. I miss watching it" and Taehyun came rushing over. Beomgyu knew. He knew he was probably nearing his end soon. Hell, he'd probably be dead by tomorrow morning. His heart was getting weaker. He's had multiple instances in which he couldn't breathe properly. He knew it was only a matter of time. 

"Hey, Beomgyu." 

Beomgyu smiled lightly at the blonde man in the doorway, a plastic bag in his hand. 

"Brought us some ramen again. I know you like eating them while watching." 

_Considerate. Taehyun was always so considerate of me. He knows what I like... I don't even know his favorite color. Or maybe I simply forgot. But that'd be worse. What kind of friend wouldn't even be able to remember something as simple as a favorite color?_

Beomgyu simply offered a smile as thanks. 

Taehyun shifted his chair to face the television hanging on the wall, handing Beomgyu his already heated ramen. He came prepared. As always. 

The two watched the movie in silence, slurping the noodles of their ramen and their gazes intently focused on the movie. 

Beomgyu silently put down his ramen cup and reached for his phone on his desk. He typed some letters in before pressing the audio button. 

_"Taehyun."_

The voice made him jump. He turned towards Beomgyu, eyebrow raised questioningly. Beomgyu thought he looked cute. 

_"You're like the Stella to my Will."_

Taehyun's eyes sparkled as he stared into Beomgyu's. "Why can't I simply be the Taehyun to your Beomgyu?" 

Beomgyu's eyes widened. His heart hammered in his chest, aching. It ached. Both in a good and bad way. All Beomgyu's promises and mantras of how he shouldn't get too attached all flew out the window. It was no use. He has been attached since the beginning, it seemed. He didn't know if that was a positive or negative thing to happen. 

Taehyun smiled brightly at Beomgyu. The brown haired man took deep breaths, trying to calm down his pounding heart. He typed away again on his phone. 

_"Please hold me. Taehyun."_

Like always, and like Beomgyu knew he would, Taehyun complied. He stood up and lay down on the empty space Beomgyu had given him room for. He huddled into Beomgyu's warm side. And they stayed like that. Silence overtaking them. 

Beomgyu moved his arm, finding it rather hard to type on his phone in that certain position. He pressed the audio button and the automated voice asked what Beomgyu had been meaning to ask for a long time. 

_"What would you do if I died?"_

Taehyun stayed still. Beomgyu could see his breathing fasten before returning to its usual pace. 

"Nothing," Taehyun finally uttered out. Beomgyu stared at him in shock. 

"Because you won't die," Taehyun continued. "You won't." Taehyun's voice was shaky. 

Beomgyu swallowed the lump in his throat. He pulled Taehyun closer to himself, already feeling a few drops of Taehyun's tears trickle onto his shirt. 

He buried his nose in Taehyun's hair, inhaling his scent. He wanted it to be the last thing he'd smell. 

He cupped Taehyun's cheek and looked into his eyes. He wanted those eyes to be the last thing he saw. 

And finally, he pressed his lips against Taehyun's. He wanted those lips pressed against his to be the last thing he felt. 

When they parted from the kiss, Taehyun finally told him the words he didn't know he had been longing to hear. 

"I love you." 

He wanted those three words to be the last thing he'd ever hear. Taehyun looked at him expectantly, his eyes telling him to say the words back. 

Beomgyu only smiled and ruffled his hair. No. He didn't want to. Not yet. Not now. 

He hugged Taehyun tighter, the both of them drifting off into a deep sleep.

* * *

Beomgyu blinked tiredly. It was dark. Someone must have turned the lights off. He looked to his left and found that Taehyun was no longer in his arms. He almost began to panic before spotting him on the couch beside the window, fast asleep. He smiled. 

He glanced at the clock, which read 2:47 a.m. 

He sighed and pushed himself off the bed to get some water. His cup was halfway full with water from the dispenser when he suddenly felt his heart give an ache. A sharp ache. Like someone had poked it with a sharp pencil. He clutched his chest over his clothes tightly. 

He almost dropped the glass from shock before remembering Taehyun might wake up from the noise, so he slowly settled it onto the sink's counter. He then felt another ache in his chest. 

He stumbled to his bed as quietly as he possibly could. He flopped down onto it, doubling over in pain. He had never experienced this kind of ache before. His heart never ached like this. It pained him. So, so much. 

And suddenly, he thought, _"Ah. Is this it? That was kinda soon, haha."_

Beomgyu laid on his bed, wheezing as he found it getting more difficult to breathe. 

He shut his eyes. His mind flashed back to only a few hours ago. 

_"I love you."_

Right. He had yet to say it back. 

He slowly opened his desk drawer, grabbing out his notepad. He picked up the pen resting beside it, as well. 

With shaky and unstable hands, he managed to write out the words **I love you, Taehyun**. 

Gasping for breath, he settled the note on the drawer, right beside his phone. 

_Hope he at least learns how to read that. It's pretty simple._

Beomgyu chuckled to himself. He then chuckled more at how he could be laughing in a situation like this. He was literally dying. 

When his wheezing and deep breaths started to get louder and louder, he tried to muffle them as best he can with his hand. He didn't want to wake Taehyun. He looked so peaceful. He refused to call the nurses and doctors either. They would only wake Taehyun up and he didn't want his last memory of the blonde's eyes to be them looking at him with sadness. His last memory of Taehyun's eyes would be them looking at him with so much love and kindness in them. 

Beomgyu's eyes gazed upon Taehyun's sleeping figure on the couch and as he took his last breath, he thought, 

_Maybe my life isn't normal. But at least I met you, Kang Taehyun._

* * *

**I love you, Taehyun**

Those were the words he had written. 

Those were the words Taehyun had stared at at least thrice every day ever since he had found the piece of paper laying atop his desk. It served as motivation. A pick - me - up. A small reminder that a certain brown haired man named Choi Beomgyu loved him back. 

He remembers that day very well. How could he not? It was the most painful day of his life. 

He remembers the words he had shouted, 

_"BEOMGYU! YOU SAID YOU'D TELL ME IF YOU WEREN'T OKAY, YOU IDIOT!"_

_"He's not dead... He's not! I never got to read him a bedtime story... I've been getting tutored for you... You can't die..."_

_"I need you here to stay..."_

He remembers the words the doctors had told him, 

_"Choi Beomgyu has, unfortunately, passed."_

_"Sir, please, you're disturbing the other patients..."_

_"Sir, let go of his hand, please."_

He remembers everything. He wishes he could forget. Oh, how he wished so. He wanted to forget so his heart wouldn't ache with a certain emptiness whenever he passed the ramen section in a convenience store. He wanted to forget so he could have the courage to open Google without breaking down. He wanted to forget. But he couldn't. 

And he doesn't know if he was happy or sad because of that fact. 

"Sir Kang, you're due to enter in a minute," said a petite woman with a clipboard in hand. 

"Oh, yes, of course." 

The woman left and Taehyun was alone in the dressing room. He adjusted his suit and tie, fixing up any flaws he found in his outfit. Then, he was ready. 

_"Everyone, please welcome – the one and only author of the best selling book 'Beautiful Words Unspoken', Kang Taehyun!"_

Cheers erupted from the crowd as Taehyun walked over to a black cloth covered table, a stack of books on one side. It was his book signing. He had worked hard to be where he is now. After Taehyun's passing, Beomgyu had worked harder than ever, learning to read and write as he had no money to do so in the past. His mother had been in the hospital for more than half his life and he spent all those years caring for her and paying for the medical bills. But he finally got a chance, and he took it. 

And look where he is now: smiling genuinely at his enthusiastic fans as he signed his purchased books. 

He thinks Beomgyu would be proud of him. He'd be even prouder to know his best selling book was based off of their own story.

* * *

"Taehyun!" 

Taehyun turned around to be met face to face with his manager – Choi Soobin. 

"Are you going today?" He asked, flipping through their schedule book to see which plan he'd be cancelling this time. 

"Yeah." 

"What book?" Soobin quickly wrote something down in the schedule book. 

"'Beautiful Words Unspoken'." Taehyun began to walk away from the venue. 

"Again?!" Soobin called after him. "Oh well, have fun!" 

Taehyun walked through the streets of Seoul, a mask covering the bottom half of his face so he wouldn't easily be recognized and possibly mobbed. He stopped by a window that displayed the beautiful, many different colored flowers. 

He pushed open the shop's door, the bell gently ringing, alerting the staff there was another customer. 

"Welcome! What are you looking for today?" Asked the polite man at the counter. 

"Could you make a bouquet for me, please?" Taehyun began digging around for some money in his pocket. 

"What flowers, sir?" 

"Roses, peonies, sunflowers, and tulips." 

"For a loved one, eh?" 

"Yeah... You could say that." 

Taehyun handed over his money in exchange for the bouquet. He bowed his head in respect and as thanks, and left the shop. He began his walk again. 

Only a few minutes later and he had arrived at his destination. The cemetery. 

He walked on grass, avoiding stepping on the tombstones, making his way towards his beloved. He stopped and crouched in front of a certain stone. 

Choi Beomgyu  
2001 - 2021 

Taehyun sat down on the slightly damp grass. He opened his book, starting at the first page. 

"Hey, Beomgyu. I'm back." 

There was a slight breeze and Taehyun smiled. He was listening. 

"I brought you flowers. Again." He placed the lovely bouquet in front of his stone. "Hope you like them." 

Taehyun cleared his throat. "I'm gonna read you your favorite again! 'Beautiful Words Unspoken', by the one and only, me." 

The breeze was a bit harsher when passing this time. Taehyun could almost feel Beomgyu rolling his eyes and playfully shoving his shoulder. He laughed. 

"Okay, okay." He glanced down to the first page. 

"I can finally read, Beomgyu. I still can't believe it..." 

Taehyun lightly brushed his fingers over Beomgyu's name engraved on the stone. 

"I can finally read you a story."

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! If you're reading this, thank you for taking the time to read and finish my story. It probably isn't all that good but I worked hard on the plotline and everything else. Hope you enjoyed it. It honestly made me sad and my heart ached when writing. But, then again, that is the point of this story. Also, sorry if there were any grammar or spelling errors, as English isn't exactly my first language. I'll probably come back to edit this some time in the future if my writing skills ever improve. But for now, this is it.


End file.
